Mets Dugout Beginning to Resemble a Hospital Waiting Room

April 23, 2009

If Mets manager Jerry Manuel had been the only surgeon on-call at the now defunct St. John’s Hospital, he would have had his hands full attempting to explain why his team died on the operating table. Wednesday night’s suffocating defeat at the hands of the Cardinals was yet another setback on the road to recovery. St. Louis starting pitcher Joel Pinero managed to pitch his way into the ninth inning as if he were administering Novocain to the Mets’ bats in tiny little droplets and lulling them to sleep.

Aside from Mets centerfielder Carlos Beltran, you would have thought that SNY’s broadcast last night was made to showcase Cardinals Manager Tony LaRussa’s latest reclamation project. By witnessing another DOA-performance by one of his starters, Mets Pitching Coach Dan Warthen looked a tad queasy and could be seen exhibiting acute erratic behavior on his way back to the dugout. Could you blame him? He now has to phone his beloved wife and tell her that he will most likely be working overtime this weekend.

With a day-game-after-a-night scheduled for today before the Mets fly back to Citi Field, the team has requested a second opinion on their recent diagnosis. Hoping to avoid a sweep, the Mets will call on Livan Hernandez to jumpstart their flagging confidence and revive any notion of a heartbeat before Mets fans decide to pull the plug prematurely.

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